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Monday, September 5, 2016

Tribe Announces They Will Raze Civil War Cemetery for BINGO HALL

Chief Wahoo of the United Band of Wannabe Redskins has announced they will place a bingo hall over the site of what can only be described as old bones of people who fought a war 150 years ago.  It's from the civil war but past the expiration date of memories.

Wahoo stated:  This is the perfect location for a bingo hall, there were other access routes, but we feel a direct route through the graveyard is the best solution.  Wannabe Redskins have been working on this construction plan for years and decades.   If we can desecrate Native sites for a pipeline, surely we can do the same for BINGO.   Bingo now, Bingo tomorrow, Bingo forever!

When asked about desecrating a revered Civil War resting place for deceased soldiers, Wahoo responded, "We believe the Wannabe Access Bingo Hall would be welcomed by its senior clientele and very few people come to the cemetery anyway.  It will save on water, and we natives believe in water, unlike greedy oil company developers."

Nobody cares about those old bones of white people, they are just interlopers, on native land right?  And we'd use the water saved for our dogs, you know, our pets, not the attack dogs like we saw harming our children at the Dakota pipeline.

Wahoo continued, "Nobody respected the graves of Native Americans when they built the Hollywood Casino in Jamul and Pechanga lied to Congress to get land and built a golf course on the land they claimed was "culturally significant", so what so different about a civil war cemetery?"

WE ASK:  What's next? he stated ARLINGTON CEMETERY will become the WANNABE SWEAT LODGE camp.  We feel that pipelines are okay to go through Native sacred sites, we could use the headstones at Arlington as pavers.

Rival Chief Knockahoma of the Eastern Wannabe's of Virginia couldn't be reached for comment...

*satire*... look it up (h/t Steven Paul Judd)


Anonymous said...

What the hell is wrong with these people? I mean, seriously? What goes through their head that says this shit's perfectly ok to do?

Anonymous said...

lol lol lol dig 'm all up.

Phil Cuevas said...

Maybe you should have printed the satire part a little bigger...

Reinstatement_Restitution said...

The Wannabes are a tribe that predates American contact, and their history is filled with injustice and discrimination. They have every right to desecrate Civil War cemeteries. Their sovereign immunity protects them from any civil action and they desperately need bingo revenue to recruit and train mascots. This is an issue that is bigger than simple bones and headstones. All Indians should sit during the National Anthem to show solidarity for the Wannabes.

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