With all this disenrollment going on my Rez in Pechanga I've had many of my people from the tribe and surrounding tribes come and talk and give their support from one Native heart to another. It's amazing you know to see your own people that you were sure you knew through new eyes.
I think the worst part of what I've come to realize from my disenrollment is how few Native people can really see what has been taken from me.
It's a shame so many of our people are being blinded by money. But what keeps me going are those of you feel my heartache like your own without me having to say a word.
That"s what I mean when I say Native heart, I've found I can see it in the eyes. Eyes that express emotions shared by Native hearts from a shared pain that runs so deep in our souls we've come to recognize one another by the fire it feeds.
I must thank everyone of you who come to me no different then you ever have, and those who come right out and bring it up, or ask how my family is, and most of all, all of you who say "FUCK UM!!" before I ever have too.
In fact I ran into an old friend in the casino last night (hey, it's still mine & where my friends are) I have not seen since it happened and I got to thank him because its people like him who keep me going like nothings changed and remind me of why I love my people so. He comes up to me and the one of the first things he says is " Hey they disenrolled you huh? So how'd that feel?"
I was suprised because that was the first time I was ever asked that. To make it even better all I got to say in response was "Man, guy it still..." then he cut me off and said how he couldn't believe they did that to me and how its so fu**** up and not to worry because they will pay for it in the end.
How now all we do is watch them ruin it for all Pechanga cause they can't even see it happening. And therein lies my strength my friends are what holds me up.
All of you who say this money ain't worth it and you'd give it up and be poor again just to go back to the days when we all watched over and took care of each other. The ones who love "Rez Life" because it was our life.
Something these ones will never know nothing about probably wouldn't want to might disgust them the way we live. But to us it just looks like HOME,baby.Thats what we love not this casino shit.
Keep the $ just give me back my people!! I am grateful for all of you who bother to care for even a moment.
All my Love & all my Life for you, My People.